Ordinary Utterings



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Every single day he says something to amaze me, to astound me, to have me grinning as widely as I possibly can. 

I can say with all confidence that i have never been touched so deeply by a man.  I have lived some, and laughed some.  Took myself a husband, and later when that was no more, took myself a lover.  Embraces and kisses along life's paths but never of the calm depths to which i am now inspired to leap.

He is the one that shall climb with me within aged boughs.  It is he that asks nothing of me except that I be.  He hears the ushering in of night in the call of owls from wood to far off wood, and we share these things now.  These and so much more.

To find hopes and dreams after so long adrift is such joy.  He is the gladness in me.

19.7.06 18:49

Attempting to rise above the aches of the long, heavy day, to wind down from the smiling persona of customer service.  To empty my mind of their endless stories, their insistence on involving me in their lives.  Tales of aunts who travel and uncles, long gone from 'cancer on the brain' whilst breathing their fumes on me.  Their afternoon tipples, and for some it must be breakfast too.  Today there was one that left their waft of home made wine behind so strong it lingered for at least half an hour, at 10am.  Each to their own, but how does this give them the right to inflict their reasons for hating the sister-in-law upon me?  At length.
17.8.04 23:16


Having to work  for a living is incredibly frustrating when you want/need to write.  I have phrases stacked up waiting to be expanded upon, visions and experiences to record, and work just won't give me time.  Being self-employed I can't skive off either.  It'll be next weekend before  I can write again at this rate Euuukk.

No wonder so many writers were poor.

7.8.04 18:33

26.7.04 13:05


Are my words not pictures enough that you must have me pose and preen before a lens that deceives?  Just like all the rest you ask that most cruellest of tasks from me.  I cannot give myself to it's eye, it does not picture what is beneath.
23.7.04 16:48

300 cd's

I have a new toy, wohoo.  My wonderful father just turned up here with a cd player that takes 300 cd's.  Endless music, randoms and shuffles are mine.

It's going to take me at least a month to get all the cd's programmed in, maybe longer but I'm not complaining.

Life was great before, but this is enhanced life.

20.7.04 15:23

Someone hacked me

It's sickening and violating, and it was hurtful.  Someone got into my profile on another site and changed it.  It feels like being robbed, like coming home and finding someone has thrown your garbage around your living space and jumped in the baby's bed in dirty mud covered boots.  Yes that's from experience and did really happen to me.  Serves me right eh, for living in a caravan in the woods.  'Dirty hippy' (No I'm not a hippy so you know) It was a much nicer place than the stinking hostel they put us in later.  But that's another tale.

I'm riled, angry, upset by this.  Worst, is it someone i speak to on the net?  I'm paranoid now too.  Could it be someone whom I've blocked?  Was it random maliciousness?  Could it be someone I still speak to?  Why?

Now there's the nub, why?  I'm not a nasty person, I try to support the people I like, I try to cheer those that are down, I do my best to converse when I'm contacted.  Even if I'm boring there's no need for that.  I've never two-timed anyone, always try to be honest. 

I get a tiny bit dry and sarcastic at the state of the world sometimes, the state of the populace, things people do that are hilarious.  But not hurtful, never.


19.7.04 21:50

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